A trustee’s perspective:
For so many of us, pets are much more than animals. They are members of our family, loyal companions who share our happiest moments and quietly comfort us through our hardest days. They don’t judge, they don’t ask questions, and for many people they provide an unconditional sense of love and security that is difficult to put into words.
It is perhaps no surprise, then, that when someone is experiencing domestic abuse, the thought of leaving a beloved pet behind can feel overwhelming. For many survivors, this becomes one of the greatest barriers to seeking safety. Some remain in abusive situations because they simply cannot bear the thought of what might happen to the animal they love. Others make the incredibly difficult decision to leave, only to return because they cannot leave their pet behind.
Research has shown that perpetrators of domestic abuse often use pets as a means of coercive control, threatening or harming animals to manipulate and intimidate their owners. The bond between a person and their pet, normally a source of comfort, can become another weapon used against them. It is a heartbreaking reality, and one that can have devastating, and sometimes fatal, consequences.
But it is also a reality that Refuge4Pets has been working tirelessly to change.
A charity born from compassion
Nearly a decade ago, Dr Mary Wakeham and a dedicated group of founding trustees recognised a significant gap in support for survivors of domestic abuse who had pets. They understood something that was often overlooked. Without somewhere safe for animals to go, many people simply couldn’t leave.
That understanding became the foundation for Refuge4Pets.
Nine years on, the charity continues to provide a lifeline across Devon and Cornwall, offering temporary foster care for pets while their owners access safety, specialist support and begin rebuilding their lives. By protecting both people and their animals, Refuge4Pets removes one of the biggest practical and emotional obstacles preventing survivors from escaping abuse. It gives people choices where previously they felt they had none.
Looking beyond the boardroom
As a relatively new trustee, I wanted to gain a deeper understanding of the charity beyond board papers, governance discussions and strategy meetings. Numbers and reports tell one part of the story, but they can never fully capture the human impact behind the work.
Recently, I had the opportunity to spend time with the Refuge4Pets team and see first-hand the incredible work that happens every day. It was an experience that left a lasting impression.
One of the highlights was spending time with Dr Mary Wakeham herself.
Mary’s vision, determination and compassion have shaped Refuge4Pets from the very beginning. Her influence extends far beyond the Southwest through her internationally recognised research into the links between domestic abuse and animal welfare. Her work has helped professionals, policymakers and charities better understand why protecting pets is such an important part of protecting survivors.
Despite everything she has achieved, Mary remains remarkably humble. Her focus has never been on recognition; it has always been on improving lives. That quiet determination is evident in every conversation and every decision she makes. Spending time with her reinforced just how much one person’s vision, combined with the dedication of others, can create lasting change.
I also had the opportunity to spend time with my fellow trustees, whose collective expertise spans domestic abuse services, governance, finance, safeguarding and animal welfare. While trustees often work behind the scenes, good governance is essential to ensuring charities like Refuge4Pets continue to grow sustainably, remain accountable and reach as many people as possible. Seeing the commitment and passion around the trustee table gave me even greater confidence in the future of the organisation.
The people behind the service
On the road
Perhaps the most memorable part of my visit was spending time on the road with one of Refuge4Pets’ frontline team members.
It quickly became clear that this role is about so much more than coordinating foster placements. Each conversation demonstrated empathy, professionalism and an unwavering commitment to ensuring both pets and their foster carers receive the support they need. Every interaction reflected the trust that has been built with the foster carers who are truly the lifeblood of the service.
Although much of the charity’s work happens quietly and behind the scenes, every placement represents a family taking an important step towards safety. Seeing the care and attention given to every aspect of the service reinforced just how much responsibility the team carries and how committed they are to getting it right.
It reminded me that while good governance, policies and procedures are essential, it is people who ultimately make charities like Refuge4Pets what they are.
Extraordinary foster carers
Another privilege during my visit was meeting two of Refuge4Pets’ remarkable foster carers, one in Devon and one in Cornwall. Their generosity is extraordinary. These volunteers do far more than provide temporary accommodation for animals. They open their homes and their hearts, offering patience, kindness and stability to pets during a period of uncertainty.
Listening to their experiences, it was clear that fostering requires far more than simply caring for an animal. It takes commitment, flexibility and genuine compassion. Each foster carer spoke warmly about the pets they had welcomed into their homes and understood the important part they were playing in supporting the charity’s mission.
It is difficult to overstate just how important their contribution is. Without foster carers, Refuge4Pets simply could not provide the service that enables people to seek safety knowing their beloved pets are being cared for.
The pets who tell the story*
Meeting the pets themselves brought everything into sharp focus. Seeing dogs happily wagging their tails and cats contentedly settled in their temporary homes was a powerful reminder of the care they receive from their foster families. They were relaxed, well looked after and clearly thriving.
Knowing that these animals are safe while their owners access support highlights why Refuge4Pets exists. Every successful foster placement removes one significant barrier for someone facing an impossible decision, providing reassurance that their much-loved companion is being cared for until they can be reunited.
Those future reunions represent hope, not only for the people involved, but for the pets who will once again return to the families who love them.
More than pet fostering
It would be easy to describe Refuge4Pets simply as a pet fostering charity. But that would only tell part of the story.
At its heart, Refuge4Pets is about removing one of the barriers that can prevent someone from leaving an abusive situation. It ensures that people do not have to choose between their own safety and the welfare of a much-loved pet. Every foster placement, every volunteer, every donation, every partner organisation and every member of the team contribute to making that possible.
Having seen the dedication of the staff, the commitment of the foster carers and the care given to every animal, I came away with an even greater appreciation of the difference this charity makes. Sometimes the greatest impact comes not through grand gestures, but through quietly providing the reassurance that a beloved pet is safe when it matters most.
Looking ahead
As trustees, we often talk about strategy, governance, sustainability and growth. Those conversations are important because they help ensure Refuge4Pets can continue supporting survivors for many years to come. But spending time with the people who deliver the service every day reminded me exactly why those conversations matter.
Behind every successful foster placement is someone taking one of the bravest steps of their life.
The work of Refuge4Pets is carried out quietly, compassionately and with extraordinary dedication.
*We take the confidentiality of our victim-survivors (people and animals) very seriously. The cat shown in this photo is not one of the animals we are fostering. This image is from a stock image library. We will never publish images of the animals in our care.